2008-11-01

Solve conflicts

The problem: Unsolved conflicts growing bigger and bigger.
It often happens that for some reason (for instance because fearing any form of negative impacts) people are in conflict with others but they avoid talking about the problem and they do all kind of strange things to avoid having to face the issue.

The reason: Negative experience and attachment to harmony.
The desire to have everything in harmony around you is a good desire. However, if harmony is not really given, denying it will have the conflict growing in the hidden. So harmony should be a long-term thought.

The solution: Have it out - solve the conflict.
Don't hide or suppress your feelings and opinions. Have it out with the involved person(s). Tell your arguments but show also empathy for the other persons involved also. But when telling others don't loose respect to them, be constructive in your critics and show your best will to find a solution that fits best for everybody (not just for you). There might be big discussion and there might be litigation but if everything is out then both have more opportunity to understand each other. Avoiding, suppressing and procrastination is no solution. It might take several attempts and longer time until an earlier established harmony returns but it will then last longer.

Related posts: Stake your claim, Setting borderlines.

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