2008-09-20

Stake your claim

The problem: You feel hemmed in because you don't want to hurt others and don't want to trigger litigation.
You may be (already) convinced that hate and anger are bad habits and only cause suffering. You are a peaceful person and want to help people reducing their suffering and achieving their goals for god's sake.

The problem is that while trying to satisfy all the others your power gets consumed and maybe exhausted. And while helping the others and getting more and more productive to make others achieve their goals you feel that you loose opportunities and realm to act.

The reason: Others discovered that they can utilize you for achieving their goals and they make use of it.The reason is quite similar as mentioned earlier in the post "Stop the service". Others got used to your assistance, your helping hand, your support and as people's thinking is mostly concentrated on themselves they neither recognize that they are consuming you. And not enough in their unconscious mind they might think something like "if not me than somebody else will take advantage of this guy".

As people's thinking is mostly concentrated on themselves waiting for those utilizing you to give you something in back or to stop utilizing you is no solution. That day will not come - in contrary they will increase their demands if you do not stop it.

The solution: Stake your claim.
You have to set limits for others "stepping around on you"! Empathy is a great thing but trying always to satisfy others and help them achieving their goals on your costs will ruin you in the long term!

You have to thump your rights! You have tell others the limits and if they do not respect you then you have to fight others when breaking inside your fences!

Search for peaceful solutions whenever possible but some people simply do stick at nothing and sell their own grandmother to clear-cut their path and people behaving this way must be stopped!

Related posts: Stop the service, Dissolved aggressiveness, An eye for an eye, Man in the middle or honor the people, Switch to authentic mode, How to rebuff somebody, The wise talk less.

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